Posts under ‘totally unfuckable’

This pink haired midget has a reasonable face and box, but she has boobs like your buddy from high school Bitch Tits Bill and you know a 69er could simply never work unless your cock grows out of your navel.

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Never mind the bat face growing out of her cooz, check the pizza dough tits.

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Apparently all the chicks from Sweden are hot. Even this 89 year old Granny with flaps so loose and hairy they look like nuts. Those things would hilarious flapping in the breeze on a windy Stockholm afternoon. Plus you could hang doughnuts off those nipples, they are long than a shemale’s cock.

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Ever noticed with Asian chicks they look hot, not to mention young, even when they are 30. 30 year old Asian chicks look like they are 18. Petite, nice skin, no wrinkles, well maintained… then they hit 45 and look like the a 300 year old Orang Utan from Borneo.

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This old 70’s rock fan could probably set a record of getting 50 clothes pegs on clamped on each of her cuntflaps. Betcha Janis Joplin couldn’t do that.

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Mama mia! Look at the giant meat bucket on this guinea. Looks like Don Corleone’s ride. I reckon she could bake a fucking lasagna in that thing.

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In about 30 years this will be your ride. If you are lucky. Titty fucking the old broad wouldn’t be too bad. If she sat on your face and she’d fucking kill you though. Not from the smell or the heft but the dirty curlies tickling shit out of your nose.

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Aunty Annie decided to strip nude in the English forest, initially much to our delight until we learned Aunty Annie wore a hell of a girdle to keep her gunt under control.

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You find yourself a nice slim ’sista’ and in 50 years she will look like this. Saggy old National Geographic tits and a head like a crack junky dude from Harlem.

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Giant fake tits CHECK
Tummy tuck scar CHECK
Botox lips CHECK
Fake tan CHECK
Bleach blonde hair CHECK
False nails CHECK
Appendictomy scar CHECK
Fucking this broad would be like having sex on a battle scarred war field.
Don’t get her too close to a fire or she will look like a melted novelty candle. Perhaps that’s what happened.

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